


Last Letter to Fíli

by Anonymous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 18:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: My love. Your arrogance blinded you in the end. You chose for me. You assumed you knew what you were choosing. You trusted those who tore us apart. Fool.





	Last Letter to Fíli

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlmarvel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarvel/gifts), [Silva_13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silva_13/gifts), [isisanubis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isisanubis/gifts).



> So I’ve been sitting on this all day, because I admire and appreciate a great many of you, and I don’t want anyone to be left out. I was hoping I would have some sudden flashes of brilliance, but it’s not to be. To all of you who read, create, and/or reblog FiKi, thank you. To the recipients of this story, I’m sorry it’s such a tiny little thing and I don’t have something for you personally. To damnitfili for loving angst, hawkguyhasstarbucks for [king-on-carven-throne](https://king-on-carven-throne.tumblr.com), and silva-13 for lovely comments.

Six months. It took me six months to track you down. I knew the direction you left after they destroyed your crown. I suspected you wouldn’t go far and that you would settle with humans. I sought rumors of a dishonoured prince on the run, or of a secretive dwarf in hiding. I should’ve known.

You walk around like a king. Like you own this remote village of men. Maybe you do. Or maybe you just can’t help acting like it. I didn’t expect you to give up, yet I expected you to look different. Some regret, a bit of humility. You show nothing on your face. 

Your braids are different, yes. No longer those of a prince. Or of a son of Durin. But your hair. It still gleams. And it still holds the braid of one who is betrothed.

I didn’t expect that. I almost showed myself then.

And I didn’t expect you to be the humans’ dog. Bear? What are you doing? Their paid fighter. I hear you always win, though.

Is that why you strut? Or is it the muscle? You know I always admired your body. Even when we fought and you won. Especially when we fought and made up. But you carried some softness over that strength. In your face and hands. 

Gone now. You look like the stone from whence our kind were born.

You’re still beautiful.

You’re still the one who left me.

Your arrogance blinded you in the end. You chose for me. You assumed you knew what you were choosing. You trusted those who tore us apart. Arrogant fool.

And when I do let you see me? What will you do? Tell me you left your kingdom for love? That you did it to protect me? Say that. Once. And I will tear out my heart and leave it at your feet. After I beat you in that ridiculous ring you fight in.

Before I find some hobbit hole to live out the rest of my days alone. 

They took my crown, too, Fíli. 

You really thought I would disavow my love for you? That I would deny our relationship? Do you remember our last night together? Before. Before you announced our betrothal. (I’ll just take this opportunity to say, “I told you so,” my idiot brother. And you said I was the reckless one.)

Our last night. I was pressed between the cold stone and your hot skin, your lips on my neck, my hands tangled in your hair. And later, my head on your chest, arms wrapped around each other, I said we belong together. You said. I don’t want to write it. It’s repeated non-stop in my head since you left. 

You said we’d always be together. Like the sun and moon. The sun and moon. How was it you were known as the smart one? The sun and moon are almost never in the sky together. 

Did your chest feel like it was splitting in two when you left? Did your entire body ache your first night without me? Did you feel my loss like a knife in your side, a hammer in your head?

You had better say yes.

I miss you, I followed you, and I found you. I need answers. We will be together forever, or we will remain alone forever, but you will answer all of my questions. What kind of life did you think I’d have without you? 

I miss your quiet laugh, and your wild one that was for me alone. I miss your attitude, your confidence. Sparring with you. There is no one else who can match me. I miss braiding your hair. I miss your hands in mine. I miss us.

What is there here for you without me? You tell yourself you are protecting me, don’t you? That you have allowed me to live in safety, luxury. It is a lie.

And you don’t get to choose for me. 

What will you say when you see me? Make it good, Fíli.

I’ve given you more than fair warning. I would say this letter is more than you deserve, but I can’t hate you. You had no way to know the golden child would be denied the one thing he wanted most. I would have kept us secret, but I also didn’t think we’d be disowned and you banished. Of course, I didn’t think you’d leave me alone either.

My love for you is too strong to fade. You had a stupid way of showing it, but your love for me is too strong to forget. I’m here to save you from yourself. But you only have one chance to make it right.

Don’t blow it.


End file.
